'I love public speaking!' -said no one ever
To describe how I feel about public speaking, here's a timeline of my
emotions leading up to journal club presentations:
Monday and Tuesday:
I felt like I had a
pretty good understanding of my paper, and I could probably tell someone what
it was about. By the time Friday came around, I'd definitely be ready.
Wednesday, 1 PM:
I walked into the
presentation room and saw the camera set up in the back and my heart rate
increased drastically. This was really happening. I felt stressed just watching
my classmates prepare to give their presentations. I got so nervous every time
someone asked a question. How was I going to answer questions about my paper?
If I was this anxious now, how would I be when it was actually my day to
present?
me eating during journal club:
Thursday, 10 PM:
I realized the
printed out copy of my paper had been stapled incorrectly. The copy that I had
been reading and annotating all this time. Stapled. In. The. Wrong. Order.
How had I not noticed until then??? Luckily it didn't matter too much because it
was only some figures that were in the wrong order, but it still stressed me
out quite a bit.
Friday, 1 AM:
I couldn't stop
imagining myself giving the presentation and blanking on everything. I
considered how feasible it would be to call in sick. It felt like I had to take
an exam, but everyone would be looking over my shoulder as I took it so they
would know whether I was failing or not. I was terrified.
Friday, 11:30 AM:
An hour and a half
before journal club, I reached peak stress. So many thoughts were running
through my mind. What if I spelled something wrong on my slides and everyone
notices? What if I can't read my handwriting on my notecards and I say the
wrong thing? And how the heck do you pronounce olaparib?
Friday, 1 PM:
I gave my
presentation...and I survived! As soon as I started talking, I forgot how
nervous I was and I just talked about everything I had learned. It really was
not that bad, and I learned so much from the whole experience- not just about
PARP inhibitors, but about myself. I learned that I am capable of giving a
presentation, and that there was no reason for me to be as nervous as I was. I
know that going into presentations in the future, I will feel a lot more
confident thanks to this experience.
Moral of the story:
Public speaking is not that bad. Especially when snacks are provided.
Me @ research
proposal presentations:
-Cydney
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