'I love public speaking!' -said no one ever

To describe how I feel about public speaking, here's a timeline of my emotions leading up to journal club presentations:

Monday and Tuesday:
I felt like I had a pretty good understanding of my paper, and I could probably tell someone what it was about. By the time Friday came around, I'd definitely be ready.

Wednesday, 1 PM:
I walked into the presentation room and saw the camera set up in the back and my heart rate increased drastically. This was really happening. I felt stressed just watching my classmates prepare to give their presentations. I got so nervous every time someone asked a question. How was I going to answer questions about my paper? If I was this anxious now, how would I be when it was actually my day to present?

me eating during journal club: 


Thursday, 10 PM:
I realized the printed out copy of my paper had been stapled incorrectly. The copy that I had been reading and annotating all this time. Stapled. In. The. Wrong. Order. How had I not noticed until then??? Luckily it didn't matter too much because it was only some figures that were in the wrong order, but it still stressed me out quite a bit.



Friday, 1 AM:
I couldn't stop imagining myself giving the presentation and blanking on everything. I considered how feasible it would be to call in sick. It felt like I had to take an exam, but everyone would be looking over my shoulder as I took it so they would know whether I was failing or not. I was terrified.

Friday, 11:30 AM:
An hour and a half before journal club, I reached peak stress. So many thoughts were running through my mind. What if I spelled something wrong on my slides and everyone notices? What if I can't read my handwriting on my notecards and I say the wrong thing? And how the heck do you pronounce olaparib?

Friday, 1 PM:
I gave my presentation...and I survived! As soon as I started talking, I forgot how nervous I was and I just talked about everything I had learned. It really was not that bad, and I learned so much from the whole experience- not just about PARP inhibitors, but about myself. I learned that I am capable of giving a presentation, and that there was no reason for me to be as nervous as I was. I know that going into presentations in the future, I will feel a lot more confident thanks to this experience.

Moral of the story: Public speaking is not that bad. Especially when snacks are provided. 

Me @ research proposal presentations:

-Cydney

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